i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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