omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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