Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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