she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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