sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize