yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
