all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
