Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
