I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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