Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
