SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
