Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
