Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
