just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
