Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
