shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
