yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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