Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
