You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
