She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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