i barfeds in our rink
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
