we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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