I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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