I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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