My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
