Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
