guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
