I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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