make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
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Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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