im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
