how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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