the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
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