His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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