wat bout pragnant strippers??
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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