i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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