so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
time to smoke my breakfast
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Im part way to drunk.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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