Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
