dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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