The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We got so high we made milksteak
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
