she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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