So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
