I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She's the barista slut.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I supernannyed him into submission
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
