We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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