omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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