is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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