He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How does it feel to date your dad?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
