I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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