I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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