TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
