About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops