btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.