Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
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dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i dont even know how to be here
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
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I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.