Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."