I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
