I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
