dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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