omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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