the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
