I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
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