Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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