Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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