: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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