Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
